Short jokes
Why did the manager hire the marsupial?
Because he was koala-fied!
Why did everyone suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything!
I wonder if Stephen Hawking has ever watched Avengers: Endgame... Oh wait, he can't.
Why was there a box in a church? Because there was a funeral.
Me.
The joke is me.
I like my kids like I like my lamps.
Hung from the ceiling.
Q: What happens to KID who NAPs near a stranger?
A: He gets KID-NAPPED (kidnapped).
Harry Potter has an invisibility cloak, I have family.
Why was 10 afraid? Because he was 'tween 9 and 11.
Me: Why am I an orphan?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: Ask your mom.
What's the best thing about an orphan GF?
You don't have to meet her parents.
When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).
What is an orphan's favorite video game?
"Who's Your Daddy?"
Joe Biden
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
What's the difference between you and an orphan?
Nothing.
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
How do orphans have a family reunion?
They use a Ouija board.