Short jokes
Wanna hear a good joke?
My dad’s love for me.
Once I saw a mirror... and that was when I got the ability to become a ghost.
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
Did you know cannibals ate KFC?
Kentucky Fried Children.
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.
The depressed kid getting bullied.
The bully: "You are useless."
The depressed kid: "I know."
I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
A little kid was lost, and he asked me to find his home. I love working at the orphanage.
If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".
But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
What category of music did JFK like?
You could say he was a metalhead.
These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.
What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?
My boner.
When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."