Short jokes
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
What's an orphan's favorite game?
GTA, because they're actually wanted? Lol.
What is red and very rare?
A child in a blender.
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
I wish I could kill my family, but you realize you're an orphan.
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
I'm hertophobic -
aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.