Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?
She washed up on the beach.
Short Jokes
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
What’s the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber 🥒
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because that’s the only love they get.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
A: The homepage.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
Society: :-)
I: :')
Society: you're doing it WRONG. It's :-) not :')
I: :'D
Wanna know why not to joke about 9/11? They usually crash the party.
Depression hits harder than my dad.
What's the worst thing to star in?
An amber alert.
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note... it's a start...
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other.
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
