Short jokes
Do you think the founder of Dunlop was a retired tree surgeon or a hairdresser?
What's brown and hairy? A bear.
What's brown, hairy, and is in love with Ethan Herbst? Arij.
I have a girlfriend with a big dick.
Clear all your debts with one easy payment. Buy a shotgun and blow your head off.
What happened when 800 hares got loose in the center of town?
The cops had to comb through the area.
Can I make you a basketball cake for dessert?
Yeah, you sure can, but don't be having all your balls in it. It will taste nasty.
How come yo mama did not come straight home from work last night? Because her daughter had sex with her boyfriend and got drunk.
Why did Lucas die?
'Cause he was old, Lucas.
If I stepped on a Twix, would you get mad?
What did one ghost say to another ghost?
"You're boo-tiful!"
Did you know that dogs started the street craps game?
You're so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.
A woman walked up to me and asked me for a joke. I stood there with a straight face knowing women can't be funny.
What did the orphan say to the other?
"Robin, get the Batmobile!"
Me: Hey, apple.
Apple: What?
Me: Knife.
Apple: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
9: I am higher than you.
8: No, you're not!
(8 flips to his side)
Q: Why do birds need feathers?
A: To cover up their butt quack!
Digga D?
Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?
...
You do realize that I said nothing, right?
Me: Exactly :)