Short jokes
Jacob Wheet, if you don't understand, look it up.
Hi! I’m going back home.
What do you call a burnt retard?
Tomato
Hola.
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
Q: What's the best way to eat a squirrel?
A: Open up its little legs.
A black man walked into a bar. Another guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.
What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?
A miscarriage.
Student: What's the best thing in the world?
Teacher: I don't know what.
Student: Hard rock cock.
When you see your friend, you call the police, but they just moan.
Why does the Sun go to school?
You're adopted, that's why your mom or dad never came back with the milk!
Q: Why don’t orphans have a personality?
A: They don’t have a person in reality!
Me: You know your parents were very good people.
Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.
Me: I know, you're an orphan.
A butt saw the toilet and said, "Shit, I'm sick!"
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.
I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
What kind of knickers is the best?
Windy knickers, because they're the best kind.
Best website ever 4 chair.
You want to know what annoying people and dogs have in common.
The female ones are called "bitch."