Short jokes

Short jokes

Asian

I am sorry, but the joke is in Urdu, which I cannot process. Please provide the joke text in English.

Friend

I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3

Beef

"-Hey dude, you got some beef? You want some beef from me?"

"- No thanks... I'm vegetarian!"

Terrorist

What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?

He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.

Number

What does e equal?

I don’t know, a bunch of random numbers, but e=mc2.

Dad

"Wanna hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"You SURE will be glad when this dad joke's over."

"That was pretty DAD!"

Ice

In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.

Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.

Mom

Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!

Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.

Football

Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?

Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.

Jedi

Why don't Jedis make puns that often?

They usually have to force them. (I hate myself for that!)