Short jokes
Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩⚕️?
Because he had a sour stomach.
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,
They would be alloys.
What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
Rizz
Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you.
Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.
You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.
I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"
Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.
BTW, I am one, wahahaa!
On September 11th, 2001, the New York Giants lost against the Jets.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?
Dribble.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke a little leaf.
Jack got high and dropped his fly, and Jill said "Where’s The beef?"
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.
Tbh they really left me hanging there.
Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?
Because all the other letters are not Z's.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.