Short jokes
"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."
Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.
Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏
Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?
Alps clear the mind! Haha.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He didn't have enough room for any more RAM on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that!
I had sex with twins. Well, I think it was twins. All my rage victims look alike.
Riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp.
Where is a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.
What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.
Eggy joke for all to enjoy!
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
What is an Emo's favorite hobby?
Hanging in.
You're the reason the middle finger got created.
What do you call New York City?
A human zoo.
My friend saw your forehead and realized you're gay.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?
To sweep the competition!
What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?
A candle or a pencil!
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
What do guns and women have in common?
They both get cocked and loaded.