Discharge jokes

lowkey "discharge" is an ugly word. I prefer créme de la meow meow.

How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?

The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.

So I got another one free of charge.

He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.

Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis. We talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing with her about being suicidal. She's been very helpful throughout it. I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.

Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))