Short jokes
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
Me: MOM, I'm tired.
Mom: Take a nap.
Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.
Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.
Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.
Why did you say not to?
Hey Autocorrect- STOP TAMPERING WITH MY CURSE WORDS YOU MOTHERDUCKING FORKLIFT!
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...
An orphan.
I thought happiness started with an “H.” Why does my happiness start with “U”?
Why did the guy bring a rope to the party?
Because he wanted to hang out... permanently. 💀😈
Your hairline is so far back, a pilot thought it was an airplane.
These are not funny. Those that are adopted feel hurt by these!
You shall feel ashamed of yourself!
Take the L! - Losers
Pep called; they want their unpadded bra back.
"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker
Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?
Because they were just roman around.
Papaumamaumau papaumaumamau.
When you don't wear earrings for a long time, the hole can close, and it hurts so much when you want to put it back. 🙄🙄 😁😁😁🤣
Don't you hate it when you sit on your balls? It's a real nutcracker!
I did not want to join sailing, but my friend roped me into it.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other.
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.