Short jokes
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.
_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail.
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
Why did Billy fall off his bike?
Because his dad threw a chair at him.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.
Because it would cut itself.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some water. Jill pulled up her dress and said, "Daddy, fuck me harder."
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.
But it was only on paper view.
A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.