Short jokes
Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Their focus is always off.
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.
My grandpa killed 100 German soldiers; he was the worst German pilot ever.
When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen.
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.
What is more dangerous than Russian gangs?
Russian malls.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.
The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."
The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."
I know why Asian's eyes are always closed. It's because Americans are so fat and ugly.
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!
Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
Jesus Christ said my faith can move mountains, so Mohammed said my faith can move skyscrapers.
How did the rich save the poor?
They didn't let them in the Titanic.
If your left nut was Thanksgiving and your right nut was Christmas, then you wouldn't have any balls because they're holidays.
I'm such a perfectionist that I can't even fail an autism test.
My bitch as flat as her grannie's heartbeat.