I'm such a perfectionist that I can't even fail an autism test.
Short Jokes
My bitch as flat as her grannie's heartbeat.
lowkey "discharge" is an ugly word. I prefer créme de la meow meow.
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
The toaster;
otherwise known as, the ultimate bath bomb.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"Windows 10 shutting down."
Where can you never take an orphan to dinner?
Family restaurants.
I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.
I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.
What is a dry swimmer?
Not in the water...
You're so ugly that even Hello Kitty said goodbye.
My friend told me to "hang on" when I told him I wanted to kill myself.
Buddy, I’ll be hanging for sure, just you wait.
I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.
You were sleeping, it didn't count - Chloe Foxwell 2021:)))))))
I bought a guh on the weekend.
(what's a guh?)
GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! 🥜 🔩 🌰
When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”
"Don't worry! Life goes on."
"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."
I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.
I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"
