Short jokes
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
Why are mountains so funny? -- Because they are hill areas.
What is a cow's favorite party game?
Moo-sical chairs!
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
Monkey Man's mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em.
Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?
Your mama is so fat, One Punch Man had to punch twice.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
Last words of the captain of the Titanic... "Where's all this water come from?"
Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.
What did the doctor say to the Chinese patient? "Sum ting wong."
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.