Short jokes
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?
"Drop it, Jamal!"
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
Why did the feminist fail algebra?
She couldn’t solve inequalities.
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.
He couldn't stand a chance.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.