Short jokes
How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
Last words of the captain of the Titanic... "Where's all this water come from?"
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?
Your mama is so fat, One Punch Man had to punch twice.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
What did the doctor say to the Chinese patient? "Sum ting wong."
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
For all the people with Covid-19, I just want to say... Stay positive.
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
All they said was, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”
Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”
You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
Why did the boy throw the clock out the window?
He wanted to see time fly.