Short jokes
What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
Why couldn't the annoying dog get on Papyrus's nerves?
HE'S A SKELETON. HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY.
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"
What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Your looking sharp!
What type of bee can't fly...
Answer: Kobeee!
From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”
A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?
B: I don't know.
A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...
B: ...
If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.
A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?
The husband answers her: Pretty.
The wife responds: Thank yo-
The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!
What's a rapper's favorite instrument?
The MIC-DROPHONE!
A guy jumped out of the Twin Towers, saying, "I ordered pepperoni pizza, not a plane!"
Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.
Why do rappers make great fishermen?
They always have the best HOOKS.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
Your hairline goes as far back as the cavemen. Your forehead is also as deep as the cave.
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.