Short jokes
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!
My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
Sleep, but make it forever.
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...