Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil
On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P
What do you call a roach in milk? Aroach con leche 😂
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road Because it was stuck in a crack
are you a wild girl cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
what did Cinderela say when she got to the ball? wow hairy
So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her can you stop smacking its annoying. Then she said I cant its a juicy type of candy. So I said, I can stop the candies from making that sound. Then she said how? So I smacked her. :)
Why did Trump decide to build the wall?
Because China built a wall and they do not have any mexicans.
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. -- But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds? They asked a bunch of kids with down syndrome to film a documentary.
What's a aliens favorite computer key?
the space bar!
Did you hear about the two-car pile-up in Mexico? Yeah like 200 Mexicans died.
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted
What do you call Steven Hawking on mars? Mars Rover
My bank loves me.
They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.
What is the most common crime in China?
Identity fraud
