Short jokes
Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?
To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.
Yo mama so fat that she needs two watches for two different time zones.
For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
If at first it doesn't succeed, try, try again.
If you're going to be a smart ass, you have to be smart, or you're just an ass.
F is for friends who don't talk to you.
U is for Ur alone.
N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.
I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"
Is a disabled person who has no arms but has guns armed or not armed?
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
What's the worst part of a Down Syndrome relationship? There's more downs than ups!
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The dwarf who couldn’t reach the doorbell.
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut, you fucking racist.
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
Why don't black lives matter anymore?
Because a harvester is more efficient at picking crops than slaves.
What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.
What kind of bee makes milk?
Boo Bees
Where do poor Italians live?
The spaghetto.
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.