Short jokes
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
Why are Egyptian gods orphans?
Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.
Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.
Me: Wow, they found the body already?
Dad: :/
Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!
Orphan: You will?
Why did the astronaut return to Earth?
She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋
Donkeys are cool.
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
What cow can part water? Mooses.
Sleep, but make it forever.
A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩⚕️?
Because he had a sour stomach.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."