Short jokes

Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.

BTW, I am one, wahahaa!

Rizz

Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you.

Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.

A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.

Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?

Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!

Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?

Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.

I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.

Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!

My grandma asked me if I could visit her.

I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.

I've been hit by several things in my life.

Sadly, never a car.

what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?

loading the dishwasher.

I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.

Tbh they really left me hanging there.

How did the man with no arms commit suicide?

We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.

Things to kids:

Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."

A Good Parent: "My baby!"

Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)

I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.

I'd tell a necrophilia joke, but they've been done to death.

My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉

How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.

Woman: "I want coffee, black."

Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"

My heart says to stop because it hurts.

Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.

I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"