Short jokes

Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!

Orphan: You will?

A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.

Why are Egyptian gods orphans?

Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.

Any game: "Are you a boy or a girl?"

Non-binary people: *cries*

The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.

Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.

Me: Wow, they found the body already?

Dad: :/

What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.

I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.

Did you hear the joke about the butter?

What is it?

I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.

Donkeys are cool.

What cow can part water? Mooses.

Sleep, but make it forever.

Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...

I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?

I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."

If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,

They would be alloys.

Why did Adele cross the road?

To say hello on the other side.

Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩‍⚕️?

Because he had a sour stomach.

What do you call a nosy pepper?

Jalapeno.

I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.