Short jokes
It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely… So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.
I'm pregnant.
Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.
What is the sexiest animal alive? The Βυττerfly.
Yo mama is so ugly, her self-portraits hanged themselves.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."
Which one gets bullied the most, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
I will be back on tomorrow at 5pm CST.
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
I hate emos, lololololololololollol!
Knock knock. Who's there? Oswald. Oswald who? Oswald my Halloween candy and now it's stuck in my throat!
I have a secret crush on your momma.
Twitch & YouTube revenue. Haha funny joke, eheh!
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!