Short jokes

If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.

What makes sad people jump? A bridge.

Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?

When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?

He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.

Be careful around EDP445.

If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.

The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!

My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.

Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.

I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.

Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!

Sleep, but make it forever.

Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...

Why did the astronaut return to Earth?

She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋

Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."

What cow can part water? Mooses.

Donkeys are cool.

I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."

I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.