Short jokes

Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?

Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.

I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.

Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!

My grandma asked me if I could visit her.

I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.

I've been hit by several things in my life.

Sadly, never a car.

what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?

loading the dishwasher.

I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.

Tbh they really left me hanging there.

How did the man with no arms commit suicide?

We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.

Things to kids:

Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."

A Good Parent: "My baby!"

Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)

I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.

I'd tell a necrophilia joke, but they've been done to death.

My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉

How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.

Woman: "I want coffee, black."

Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"

My heart says to stop because it hurts.

Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.

I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"

My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.

That's why priests invented baptism.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.

Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?

He never learned to mix the colors.