Short jokes

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.

BTW, I am one, wahahaa!

Rizz

Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you.

Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.

A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.

Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?

Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!

Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?

Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.

I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.

Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!

My grandma asked me if I could visit her.

I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.

I've been hit by several things in my life.

Sadly, never a car.

what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?

loading the dishwasher.

I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.

Tbh they really left me hanging there.

How did the man with no arms commit suicide?

We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.

Things to kids:

Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."

A Good Parent: "My baby!"

Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)

I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.

I'd tell a necrophilia joke, but they've been done to death.

My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉

How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.

My heart says to stop because it hurts.

Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.

I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"