Short jokes

What do you call Hitler speeding?

The Fast and the Fuherous.

Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?

Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.

Why did the astronaut return to Earth?

She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋

Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!

Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!

Orphan: You will?

A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.

Why are Egyptian gods orphans?

Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.

Any game: "Are you a boy or a girl?"

Non-binary people: *cries*

The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.

Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.

Me: Wow, they found the body already?

Dad: :/

What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.

I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.

Did you hear the joke about the butter?

What is it?

I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.

Donkeys are cool.

What cow can part water? Mooses.

Sleep, but make it forever.

Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...

I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?

I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."

If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,

They would be alloys.