Short jokes
Why did the boy throw the clock out the window?
He wanted to see time fly.
Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?
To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.
I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.
I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"
What kind of bee can't fly?
A KOBE.
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
What's the worst part of a Down Syndrome relationship? There's more downs than ups!
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!
Orphan: You will?
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.