Short jokes
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.
Why did the feminist fail algebra?
She couldn’t solve inequalities.
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.