Short jokes
If I get an atom, I would split it with you.
A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"
Your mamma's so stinky that perfume leaks where she puts it on.
I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
Taylor.
If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
If I had a loonie for every degree I have, I wouldn't have a loonie.
What did the mincrater do when his Xbox turns off?
He raged! 😱
How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?
Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!
Why was I angry on my plane? Because I read these stupid 9/11 jokes.
Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3
Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.
Mom: jk
SEX
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Mother.
Mother who?
Fuck off bichon, I'm your mother!
Microwave.
I hate straight people.
What time is your name from? Any time.
What name do you get if you mix the names Chris and Marisa?
Then you get the name Chrisa.
What do you get when skeletons are dancing in a tin can?
Noise!