Short jokes
You're so fat that you're as big as UY Scuti!
You’re so short, I bet you don’t have to bend to tie your shoelaces.
Hey Gwen, next time you're online can you go to "son jokes".
I commented back to you and portory.
Ramsey Bevan
Oooo, Gabriel Casey.
Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?
Answer: It tastes better.
I like pie.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Covid.
Covid who?
The thing that killed half a billion people!
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
How are the faster readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they read 80 stories in 10 seconds.
What did the expired butter do once it had expired?
It did an expire.
Why did the egg fall off the motorbike?
He was shite.
What does iCloud eat for lunch?
Your documents.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.
Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.
The orphan: What is home?
Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.
*puts in trash can*
What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?
Redd Foxx.
Why did the skeleton feel alone?
He was BONEsome.
What do you call a dev that is dead?
A deadveloper.
What is a fruit's favorite way to call someone?
WhatsApple.
Doctor, Doctor, I discovered one of the base pairs in my genetic code is erroneously a stop codon?
Nonsense! That shouldn't be happening!