Short jokes

Short jokes

Satan

Roast

I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.

Emo

I tried to get into an emo bar, but I didn't make the cut.

Vacuum

Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?

A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.

Abortion

Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion?

A. May your baby rest in pieces.

Emo

I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.

I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.

Mum

Dog toys are getting out of control.

My mum's dog has a round bison bone.

Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.

Anorexic

Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.

It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.

Empty

I was going to make a bulimia joke, but suddenly it just felt so empty.

Woman

Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.

That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.

Bull

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

Pimp

When prostitutes misbehave, do their pimps make them stand out on the corner with a "For Rent" sign on their crotch?

Basement

Mrs. Duncan knows where you live. She lives there too. In your basement... lolololololololololololololololololol