Short jokes
What do cows read? The moospaper!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.
Aliana is so fat, she can't fit through a hula hoop.
How do you spot an English man in Quebec?
A square head.
I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fourth of April.
Fourth of April who?
May the fourth be with you!
I got some from suggestions, research, etc. etc. Just to illuminate you.
So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"
Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"
"You gave me the same sweater as last year."
"You s w e a t e r believe it."
Why did Sellwood get named?
It is made of wood that got sold.
What do you call a bald science teacher?
HOBBS LOL XD :)
Hi boo!
"Actions speak louder than words."
This doesn't apply to Stephen Hawking, however...
What is a redneck's favorite color?
Blue.
Baal jharne ke upay?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He didn't have enough room for any more RAM on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that!
How long is it?
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
"Igma is my balls."
I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.