Short jokes
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What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?
If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.
My wife found a rock and asked if it was expensive, and I said it "leavarite". She said, "Is that expensive?" and I told her, "Leave it right there."
Why did the Mexican chicken cross the road?
Because the mom said, "Vente, Baca."
Papyrus: Sans, your jokes are bad!
Sans: I don’t care; I got thick skin.
People are like bean burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.
What does a butt do when it is angry?
Butt crack!
Once a knight was called a "kuhnigitt," that's because he was one!
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him when he came home drunk?
Nothing... she couldn't tell.
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...
"Dustin Jordan Manna should have been an abortion."
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
Stephen Hawking died because he got hacked by me, and the update was too strong.
I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.
Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"
What's black and at the top of a staircase?
Not Stephen Hawking.
Your mama so fat, she filled up Minecraft's block limit! lol XD
Congratulations to Avicii for passing his 3-day milestone of sobriety!
I did a walk today, but it was good for Tyler. I was just trying to have a good time to sleep good. I got yyy night and a night.
Me: Imagine not having hair.
Kids: On chemo.
Bitch the fuck.