I was going to tell a joke about a mirror, but it seems that I'm looking at one.
Short Jokes
A girl has small balls.
What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with the terrorist.
Q: Why don’t orphans have a personality?
A: They don’t have a person in reality!
Me: You know your parents were very good people.
Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.
Me: I know, you're an orphan.
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.
I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.
Best website ever 4 chair.
You want to know what annoying people and dogs have in common.
The female ones are called "bitch."
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.
Huh what you say?
Come fight me, suck a dick.
The reason I love Stephen Hawking is because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
I said to the orphan, "Do you want me to take you to your family? Oh wait..."
A butt saw the toilet and said, "Shit, I'm sick!"
What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?
A mosque after a missile strike.
EVERYONE:
"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"
Your mom is so fat, she played bowling with the planets.
You're adopted, that's why your mom or dad never came back with the milk!
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
Kid: I need help!
Mom: Help your balls.
Uranus is cold.