Short jokes
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
I’ve never had Indonesian food. Huh...
Neither have they.(:
Me: I must have a mirror in my jeans, 'cause I see you in my pants.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?
Internet.
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.
Yo mama so hairy, when the baby came out, the baby died because of carpet burning!
What do you play Fallout 4 with low health?
You Fallout.
Knock knock. Who's there? You... You who? You smell like shit!
These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.
What goes in soft and comes out hard?
Gum, you whore!
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
When people mean "phat feast," they don't mean fat.
When yo mumma says "phat," she means FAT but thinks she's cool!
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
If Stephen Hawking is ill, does he go to the doctors or Currys PC World?
Did you know that ASL is a dead language?
Yeah, nobody speaks it.
What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?
A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.
Wanna hear the car joke?
Nah, it's too fast for you.
Fanta Klare Zitrone is cool.
Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?
Because krypton is "stable."