Short jokes
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
When people mean "phat feast," they don't mean fat.
When yo mumma says "phat," she means FAT but thinks she's cool!
I’ve never had Indonesian food. Huh...
Neither have they.(:
Me: I must have a mirror in my jeans, 'cause I see you in my pants.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?
Internet.
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.
Yo mama so hairy, when the baby came out, the baby died because of carpet burning!
Knock knock. Who's there? You... You who? You smell like shit!
Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?
Because krypton is "stable."
My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.
If Stephen Hawking is ill, does he go to the doctors or Currys PC World?
Did you know that ASL is a dead language?
Yeah, nobody speaks it.
What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?
A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.
My dick is like the way home for an orphan, its length is never-ending.
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam foot got caught in the door, can you please open it!
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.