Short jokes
Knock knock. Who's there? Ieatmop. I eat mop who? Eww, you eat your poo?
What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?
Nothing.
Trump.
People love you.
Don't die.
My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.
Ha Ha Ha
I thought it was funny.
I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."
Why did the cow steal an AK-47?
He was a mooslim.
Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.
Me: But you are not standing:)
How do Germans tie their shoes? Answer: In Nazis!
So I was doing a puzzle, and I was getting triggered with it. My friend said, "It's puzzling why you're so triggered."
What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?
The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.
Shaenaya is single, 16, and looking for a 30 year old man that can pleasure her, huh?
What do you call a wet condom?
A wet condom.
I hit my friend.
He's dead now.
Why did the mushroom go to the party??
Because he was a fungi!
Dear uncle, I want my condoms.
What do gay girls order in a bar?
Pussy juice.
Q: Why did the teacher die?
A: Because he hated his life.
Eat my butt.
Calculate my dick, virgins!