Short jokes
What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?
"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"
What did Love name his daughter?
Sweetheart. ♥
She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest... She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.
I can't stop thinking about those beans.
I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.
I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).
How does he go for a poo? He logs out.
I was at my drumming lesson and I accidentally dropped my drum stick when my sister made a terrible joke.
KA-DOOM-CHA!
What did the beachgoers in North Carolina say when there was a tsunami?
Nothing, they died.
Girls are whores.
The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"
I replied, "As soon as possible!"
I never feel offended if my friends don't wish me a happy birthday.
Because that's what I want.
I'm just happy no idiots are calling these people fat-phobic.
Moose jokes, why did the moose fly with an airplane? Because it was a skoose.
Hi, I did not get it when I went home to walk home from home and walk, walk, walk.
How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?
As soon as the bomb exploded on her.
Why doesn’t the orphan have any toys? Because his Lego figures ran away too.
Did you know there is no "p" in the alphabet? ABCDEFGHIJKLM(NOP)!
When your sister asks you to entertain her, you don't!
What do you think of your mom? I can do it.