Short jokes
The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰
Why did the Lego cross the road? He was on the wrong block!
Yo momma so fat, she farts out volcanoes.
"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."
Yeah yeah.
I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.
Dinkleberg!
Why are all the emos banned from Six Flags?
Because they keep cutting in line.
No.
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
I hope every time you watch YouTube, you get 30 second unskippable ads!
Law is temporary. Syria is eternal.
In Ukraine, there was a massive wake-up call by Russia. But for some, the results were the opposite.
How do you spell "I. P. With U?"
The police: Pull over!
The kid: Do you know who my dad is?
The police: What, your mom did not tell you?
What is the road on a hill?
Hillside.
Hairline got cut by a broken teacup.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we werewolves?
Shut up and comb your face.
Why do orphans prefer IKEA to the Home Depot?
Because the Home Depot provides supplies for *a* home. IKEA just provides furniture.
Being gay must be a pain in the ass.
Credit to omnom.