Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
Short Jokes
My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
Why did the feminist fail algebra?
She couldn’t solve inequalities.
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
