Short jokes
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
Why don't phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
Autistic jokes have been very popular recently. In other words, I've been very popular recently.
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
Why do short people laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Are you a bowling ball? Because I want to stick 3 fingers in you.
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
An orphan's first word would be "orphan keeper."
My wife accused me of being a cross-dresser, so I packed up her clothes and left.
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."
Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."
What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.