Short jokes
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
What animal should wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
I got them red Gucci bracelets.
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."
Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."
Off the nearby cliff.
What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quick sand?
Quatro Sinco.
Why do you call a man that is physically handicapped and German?
A physically handicapped bisexual man that is promiscuous and German.
What's a retard's favorite rock band? Syndrome of a Down.
So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?
Kim Jong Un has rights.
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?
Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.
🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
What did the downs kid get on his math test??
Drool.
Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?
When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.
In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.