Short jokes
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.
Simply because they look up to me.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
One hat told another hat to stay behind, and he will go on a-head.
On September 11th, 2001, the New York Giants lost against the Jets.
Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.
Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
I'd tell a necrophilia joke, but they've been done to death.
Dogs can't operate MRI machines.
But cat scan!
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."
What do you find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?
Heads and shoulders.
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.
What do you call a sneaky child molester?
Incogpedo.
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.
My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.