Short jokes
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!
What is the difference between an orange and an orphan?
The orphan always gets picked... Oh wait, I meant an orange always gets picked.
Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.
I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!
Why did Mr. Peanut die?
His cane snapped!
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
How many feet are in feet?
What do Africans always play? They play The Hunger Games.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: You can't find your dog.
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3
Yo mamma is so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
What can fly underwater?
A mosquito in a submarine.
Umm, Tyrone did not get his chicken.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Awww, don't cry!
What’s the difference between rap lovers and the Gigachad?
Rap lovers get more pussy.
What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?
One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.