Short jokes
Are you an orphanage?
Why?
Because I wanna put my kids in you.
What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?
She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.
"Just say no to drugs!"
Well, if I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.
My dad just comes and goes.
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
Why is the thief so good at basketball? Because he can shoot, steal, and run.
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!
How did the necrophiliac get caught?
Some rotten cunt split on him....
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
Imagine if this got over 69 likes! Wow! 🤩 🇫🇷
My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that I've got 30 minutes to get out. That's short notice!
Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
Titanic - "Yo, look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, let's hit her!"
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.