Short jokes
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.
A normal kid brings an MP3 to school.
A rich kid brings an MP4 to school.
A quiet kid brings an MP5.
One day I told my wife that she drew her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.
What do depressed people use for emotions online?
They use EMOjis.
One hat told another hat to stay behind, and he will go on a-head.
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."
What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make Black people run faster.
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.
What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
Roses are red, peanuts are tan. I am joining the Ku Klux Klan.
What is the best Catholic dating app?
Grinder.
I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.
I now have $999,999.75.
Where did the sheep get a haircut?
At the baa-baa shop.