Short jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.
Dogs can't operate MRI machines.
But cat scan!
roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?
Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.
A normal kid brings an MP3 to school.
A rich kid brings an MP4 to school.
A quiet kid brings an MP5.
One day I told my wife that she drew her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.
What do depressed people use for emotions online?
They use EMOjis.
One hat told another hat to stay behind, and he will go on a-head.
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.