Short jokes
Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"
Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.
Is Google a girl or a boy?
Obviously a girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
In Israel, they chop convicted rapists' balls off. Sure glad I don't live in Israel.
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.
Cousins make dozens.
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.