Short jokes
Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
Yo mama is so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.
Which makes me an eighth-theist.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stop.
Stop who?
Stop posting stupid orphan jokes that have been posted on this site 10 times before!
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
My sister's pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad!
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding Emo.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's greatest enemy?
The low ground.
Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”