Short jokes
Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.
Because it would cut itself.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
What do you call the whole population turning into emos?
The Great Depression.
What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?
🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍨 🍨 🍨 🍨
My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why... he said so I could be extinct 😭😭
All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.
What do a fat chick and a moped have in common?
They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.
Why did Mia Khalifa become so famous?
Because she blew up.
Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers.
Yo mama is so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? -- Shear madness.
I have no father. Like if you relate.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.
My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.