Short jokes
Why did the orphan commit suicide?
So he could find home.
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding Emo.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
Wow! That whiteboard is remarkable!
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
- Mommy, what will I be when I'm grown up?
- Shut up, Sam, you've got cancer!
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.
Which makes me an eighth-theist.
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
In Israel, they chop convicted rapists' balls off. Sure glad I don't live in Israel.
Jesus created the T-pose first.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German!
What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?
A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.