Short jokes
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.
To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...
I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
What do you call the whole population turning into emos?
The Great Depression.
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.
Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.
Because it would cut itself.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why... he said so I could be extinct 😭😭
What music do Astronauts listen to?
Nep-tunes.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.
What do a fat chick and a moped have in common?
They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.
Why did Mia Khalifa become so famous?
Because she blew up.
Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers.