Short jokes
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
What is more time-consuming than children?
Waiting for your wife to go into labor!
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowgirl?
Snowballs.
Fucking Windows updates!
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
My girlfriend called me a pedophile... That's a big word for a 1st grader.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
What do you call my IP? 74.125.224.72 hahahahahahahahaha
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
I used to work at a candlestick factory, but only on the wickends! It was illuminating!
Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself?
He had no body to go with.
Davin is a pedo.
I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
I don't know?!?
Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.