Short jokes
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.
My life.
Hmmm.
What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.
Which brand of underwear does Thor wear?
Asgard.
Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?
Never mind, it was needle-ess.
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired!
мy naмe ιѕ jeғғ.
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
Q: Why doesn't a skeleton mother drink water?
A: Because it gives her more work!
I love my family when they're buried alive.
Why is 6 scared of 7? 7 8 9.
Seven ate nine.
Why was the whale sad?
Because he is blue!
What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?
Abortion of chips.
Stephen Hawking died because his wheelchair couldn’t run Windows 10.
What do you call a white girl at Starbucks?
At home.
Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time.
What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.