Short jokes
I wanted to play as Kobe in my console, but the game crashed.
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.
We're skipping April Fools' Day this year. The biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country.
What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
Roses are red, violets are violet.
My grandad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple got picked.
My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...
I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.
It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.
Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.
A fake name and a fake phone number.
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night?
Dark humor.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
Dead people jokes are the best, they're ground breaking.
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...
I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)
What music do Astronauts listen to?
Nep-tunes.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.