Short jokes
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.
Why did Mia Khalifa become so famous?
Because she blew up.
Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers.
Yo mama is so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
I have no father. Like if you relate.
What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? -- Shear madness.
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.
What would MLK Junior be if he was white?.........Alive.
My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!
What's the second to last letter in the alphabet? Y. Cause I wanted to know.