Short jokes
Yo mama is so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stop.
Stop who?
Stop posting stupid orphan jokes that have been posted on this site 10 times before!
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy.
I keep it in a jar on my desk.
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?
Two test tickles.
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
Boss: You're a waiter. Where did you get those?
What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's greatest enemy?
The low ground.