Short jokes
"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?
Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.
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Bully: Hey virgin!
Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.
Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Victim: Just wait nine months.
Cousins make dozens.
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German!
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip-off.
So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?
Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.
Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehead.