What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
Short Jokes
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?
Two test tickles.
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
Boss: You're a waiter. Where did you get those?
What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's greatest enemy?
The low ground.
Why did the orphan commit suicide?
So he could find home.
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding Emo.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
Wow! That whiteboard is remarkable!
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat
- Mommy, what will I be when I'm grown up?
- Shut up, Sam, you've got cancer!
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.
Which makes me an eighth-theist.
