Short jokes
We were going to McDonald's, but we ran into your hairline!
The death of JFK must have splattered on the news.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
I wish you were a soap, because I want you all over me.
What did Jupiter say to Uranus? Hey, I can see your Uranus from here!
Blud is so old he pre-ordered the Torah.
This town ain't big enough for the one of you.
I bet when you take a bath, they give you the whole pool. No, better yet, the ocean!
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂
Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?
You're so bad at games, bro, they gave you AIDS before losing! 😹
Why is 19 afraid?
Because if you add 400 to it, it’ll be next to 420.
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
The Kardashians are just hyper realistic Barbies.
Why are chickens so funny? Because...
Just looking for a cunt...
Oh hello, found one.
A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.
I wonder how many people read this wrong.