Short jokes
I hate school. I mean, why can't you pull out a 12 gauge and shoot everyone, including the teachers?! This generation is too soft, man.
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
@M3GAN fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfucufkcucufkcuckfucufkcufcfufkcufkcuckfucufkf you
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.
My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!
I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.
Guess whose parents didn't survive?
Liv's parents.
Even Captain Cook couldn't discover your forehead.
If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.
Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.
Ever tried looking in a mirror lately? I wouldn't, your crooked hairline might break it.
This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!
CIA: Where's your head at?
JFK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?
Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.
Why can't people eat pizza? Because they will be unavailable.