Short jokes
My mom said, "Hey, come over here."
I responded, "Too late, Mom!"
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
Dammit, I hanged off their nose off.
What shouldn't you ask an emo?
"Do a wrist reveal."
Why are my students so naughty?
Person: My left ear is ringing.
Friend: Then answer it!
What did the cupcake tell its frosting?
I’d be muffin without you.
Peter's playtime.
My dick harder than stone, man.
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
You know I would make a deaf joke, but I don't think they would hear it.
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.
If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.