Short jokes
Putin is the only person whose country is bigger than his mind.
Yo mama's so—oh wait, you don't have one.
If a girl is vegan and she's dating a transgender person, does that mean she's eating fake meat too?
Are those tears real or are they like you? Fake.
I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.
I was looking forward to my date with this paraplegic girl, but she stood me up.
What's a game a paraplegic kid can't play?
Hopscotch.
What do Diddy and Turkish men have in common?
They both use lots of oil.
This is WPBS-TV. We'll pledge-break soon — thanks, viewers!
What's the worst thing about 9/11?
All of the stupid "Airplane" jokes.
I think I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
Are your hairline and forehead friends? Because they go way back.
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they're very tiny and we're not sure how they got in there.
How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?
One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle.
I just got a taste of Kingston, Ontario's only transgender restaurant: 664 Bath. A Dairy Queen who used to be a Burger King.
How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.
You're so dark that even God's light can't shine upon you.
What makes my life so unfair?
You invading it for no apparent reason.
Yo mama is so fat that she crushed her PlayStation profile.
Yo mama is so Jewish that pennies run away from getting pinched by her.
What did the DJ name his son?
Eric.