Short jokes
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
What is it called when corn stalks have a baby?
The cream of the crop.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
What’s the last balloon George Floyd blew up? His heroin balloon.
Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?
Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)
Why the "hell" is this here?
Why are you dumb? Because you can’t find LOLA.
Your forehead is so fucking big, I had to call an Uber to get across the eyebrows to your hairline.
I know it's bad, sorry.
You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.
I want to make a joke about old age, but I'm too senile to finish it.
Where would Batman get his freak on at? The Batcave or the bat strip club?
A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.
I smell like skunk.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
You are short.
You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.