Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Short Jokes
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To eat Bob's arms.
Bob went to hospital and had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Bob.
What do you call an IT teacher that touches his students?
A PDF file.
"Hey, what does IDK mean?"
"I don't know."
"Okay, then I am going to ask someone else."
Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.
How do u get 40 cigarettes in a pack?
U shove them down his throat. 🤣😂
Why are Mexicans good at Uno?
They always steal the green card.
How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.
Why are you sad? Because you are in Morocco, ha ha.
What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."
Yo hairline so far, that if you put tables on it, it would NEVER end.
What sounds did the Ukraine people make in basketball? Ka-boom!
Why you should never borrow money from dwarves?
Because they are always short! 😁😁😁😁
Who’s better, Bird or Magic?
Weirdo: I'm too high to die!
Me: You'll just fall harder.
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.
When Peter Pan jumped off the Twin Towers, what happened? He Neverland.
Your hairline and your forehead must have a lot in common because they go waaaaaaaayyy back!
