Short jokes
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
What wastes your money as you earn it?
Women.
Yo mama so fat, Donald Trump built a wall around her.
What will make a depressed teenager happy?
A cliff.
Why did the chicken cross the road to Popeyes Chicken?
It wanted to pop some chicken eyes...
Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."
Why does Apple logo depict 1 byte in the 21st century?
"I want to kill my family."
-realizes-
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
The name is Doe, Dilbert Doe. You can call me Dil.
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
Q. Why did Josh Duggar cross the road?
A. There was a daycare on the other side.
This is a placeholder. I am a joke.
I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?
Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What do you call a group of children who go on strike?
A minor's strike.