Friend 1: Eyyy gurl
Me: Hey! (Fake smile)
Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?
6 hours later
Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?
Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?
You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.
People claim that Trump has Russian ties.
FAKE NEWS!
All of Trump's ties are made in China.
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.
Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
Why are we depressed? Is it because of that bully in your school, or because you have acne? How about when you listen to your sad song playlist? Maybe it's because you have no friends? Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake? T^T
Helen Keller deaf-initely faked it!
A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."
Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.
A fake name and a fake phone number.
Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
If you faked the moon mission, don't apollo-gize.
A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.
A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.
Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... Sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.
Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.
Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...
China is as fake as bitches with plastic surgery, and they talk about body positivity.
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.
