Fake Jokes

Mooky
in Depression

Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?

RedGrapes
in Ugliness

You’re so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so u could wear a mask

Anonymous
in Dumbness

The IRS came to this mans house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money thats been coming in and out of his bank account. So the man though maybe I need to get a lawyer. So he and his lawyer get to the IRS’s office and sit down and the agent said there has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it. The man says yes I do, I’m a gambler. The agent says you gamble with that much money. He man says yes, I’ll give you an example. Alright I bet you 5,000$ that I can bite my left eye. Agent says alright deal. The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Then the agents says that not fair. The man says I’ll let you get your money back or even more, I bet you 7,500$ I can bite my right eye. He agents thinking I didn’t see him come in with a guide dog or a stick so the agent says deal. The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. The agent then says that’s not fair. The man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I’ll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. The agent says that’s impossible you’ve got a deal. The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk and the agent says I got you, he’s laughing and happy that he final beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face and the agent asked what’s wrong with you and the lawyer replies the man bet me 100,000$ he could piss on your desk and you’d just love it.

1
RedGrapes
in Ugliness

You’re so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so u could wear a mask

RandomNameCuzI'mLazy 6^6
in Depression

Why are we depressed, is it because that bully in your school, or that you have acne, how about when you listen to you sad song playlist, maybe cause you have no friends, Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake. T^T

Anonymous

I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods and I was going to tell him nice fake airpods but it was his hearing aids

Ur mom
in Funny

Friend:Im gonna go ask out my crush Me: fake sneezes* Sry im alergic to bullshit

Anonymous

Whenever I have a one night stand I always use protection

A fake name and fake phone number.

1
ThunderGod2245

A man shoots up a School and then fakes his own death, he then later returns to shoot up the same school, he repeats the prosses a few times untill the police catch him, when they ask why he did it, he replied “I wondered when you would check if i was still breathing”

4
Ass Teroid
in NASA

IF You Faked The Moon Mission Don’t Apollo gise.

Meh
in Orphanage

Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption appear on April fools the just leve them there at the orphanage APRIL FOOLS!

Anonymous

Imagine if on April first the government says hahhaha you all fell for it covid19 is fake we actually killed all those people lol

Fukboi4u

A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover so one of her friends asks when was the last time you had an orgasm? she replies 3 days ago dad comes bursting in i KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT

6
Reeeeeeee Reddy H

I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.

Idiot: The moon landing was faked! So unbelievable fake! Me: You believe in the moon? Stupidass.

4
Flat b....es

China as fake as bitches with plastic surgery and talk bout body positivity

in Depression

I can’t fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.

in Emo

Fake emo: when I’m sad i cut myself Real emo: same fake emo: another piece of cake

Too good to be true
in Depression

When somebody says they’re depressed (by over-romnticising their so-called problems) but can’t be by your side when you are at your lowest… Then you know they’re faking depression🙂

If you know it, you know it

VeLocity

You’re so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so u could wear a mask