Your mom jokes
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
What do vacuums and your mom have in common?
They both suck.
What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.
Your mom has a bone to pick with me.
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."
Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."
What do you think of your mom? I can do it.
"Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom."
What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?
One is a tool. The other is your mom.
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.” “I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed.
In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, “OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!”
Kid: Are you gay?
Me: No, I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on.
YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.
I’d pound your mom so fast, even Sonic would get jealous!
Bully: "Nobody loves you."
Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."
My favorite sex position is ‘WOW.’ It's where I flip your mom upside down.