Your mom jokes
I’d pound your mom so fast, even Sonic would get jealous!
Your mom has quite the mouth on her.
As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.
Your mom is so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign because it never said "go."
Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."
Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.
Bully: "Nobody loves you."
Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."
"Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom."
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
I like your mom naked.
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."
On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."
Roses are red, violets are blue. Your mom isn't here because she doesn't love you.
Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.”
“I still don't get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, "OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!"
Your mom has a bone to pick with me.
Your mom is so hot, if she had an OnlyFans page, she would get more money than companies during Pride Month.