Short jokes

Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.

What bee is terrible at flying? Kobe.

My mom said, "Hey, come over here."

I responded, "Too late, Mom!"

Dammit, I hanged off their nose off.

What shouldn't you ask an emo?

"Do a wrist reveal."

Person: My left ear is ringing.

Friend: Then answer it!

Stand in the corner.

Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.

I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.

What did the cupcake tell its frosting?

I’d be muffin without you.

You know I would make a deaf joke, but I don't think they would hear it.

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

What do you call it when an Astartes cum's... torrential downfall?

Bumpkin boy.

Yo momma so fat not even Dora could explore her.

Yo mamma so dumb that she jumped off a building after drinking Red Bull.

Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."

What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...

Carrots?

Fard.

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.