Short jokes
First bite: Oh my God!
Second bite: Oh my, God!
Name: Jack, call sign "triple".
School: Nova corps gun academy.
Location: Wyoming mountains.
Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.
That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:
Huggy's so fat, Playtime Co. had to make him a monument of fatness.
What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.
I was going to charge my phone, so I pulled a plug and put it in. Then, my grandpa wasn't breathing anymore.
When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.
What's the difference between Christian theocrats and Islamic fundamentalists?
Presentation.
I hate "the woke" so much, I got mad when my mom said I "woke" up late for school.
Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?
Why do orphans have a single chip? Because they don't have a full bag.
Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.
What is a woman's name with one leg?
Eileen.
There’s a noticeable difference between using polish to remove grease and using Polish to remove Greece.
Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.
Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?
Six one.
What do you call a singer who can't make a song?
Taylor Swift.
What do you call a person with nobody and no nose?
Q. What's a 9/11 survivor's least favorite bagel? A. Plain.