Short jokes
Why wasn’t the orphan allowed on the game show?
The show was called "Family Feud."
I met Lebron James, and he was so bald at the time that I could count his hairs.
And that's 1 hair and maybe 2.
What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?
A: Go kill yourself!
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
The last names after marriage!
Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s sea food.
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.
What did the janitor think when he was mopping the 101st floor?
The 102nd.
Queen
What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why does an orphan like The Beatles? Because it's family friendly.
"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."
What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?
They're the ones that make the toys.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
Your hairline legit looks like the Himalayan mountain range, except you need binoculars to find it.
Imagine you ask a girl out in braille.
And she leaves you on felt.
But when?
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.