Short jokes
Hey, wanna read here? Have a comet book.
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
din mamma
What do you call a crazy-in-every-way sister?
A sissy.
You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.
What is Bugs Bunny's favorite dessert?
Chocolate carrots balls.
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.
Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!
What did you call a school that got blown up?
Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?
Because for them, love isn't an open door.
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?
One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.
I go beep like a Jeep.
What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?
"Would you stop bugging me!"