Short jokes

Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?

Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!

Lil Nas X is so gay, I would fuck him in the Old Town Road.

You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.

The ketchup told a joke. No one was laughing, but the egg was cracking up!

Hey girl, are you a scientist?

Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.

What’s a gay person’s favorite race track?

Rainbow Road.

Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.

I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project, but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed.

"2001 just called and they want their towers back."

Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?

Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.

Jake: Can I go outside?

Mom: Did you clean your room?

Jake: No.

Mom: Then f*ck no.

Jake: Alright, bet.

(Brother named No)

What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?

Hairy Potter.

Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"

Student: "A drinking problem."

Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.

College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.

My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!

I was at the bank yesterday.

A lady asked to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.