Short jokes
Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?
What do you call a crazy-in-every-way sister?
A sissy.
What’s your favorite food? Chode in the hole?
You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
What is Bugs Bunny's favorite dessert?
Chocolate carrots balls.
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!
Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?
Because for them, love isn't an open door.
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?
One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.
I love orphans. They're precious.
I go beep like a Jeep.
Why do orphans look at a house for so long?
'Cause they never had one.
Take a water bottle, shake it, you got piss.
What is the best way to make a leaf?
Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"