Short jokes

Short jokes

Threesome

I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...

It was wrong on so many levels.

Vegetable

I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

Name

Devora Malka, the Nora School, Silver Springs, Maryland, also known as Opal.

Hitler

Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?

A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.

Text

Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.

Goodbye

Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.

Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.

Israel

Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.

CEO

Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.

Baby

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

Epstein

Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.

Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

Man

What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?

Sit down and shut up.

Donald Trump

Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.

I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.