Short jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?
Sit down and shut up.
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
What do you call a flooded hospital?
Vegetable soup.
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
Why should you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly?
Because it's in bread.
What do an emo girl and a blind girl have in common?
Black is their favorite color.
Even Michael Jordan can't dunk from your hairline! 🤣🤣
What did Spiderman say on September 11th, 2001?
"Look out, Here comes the Spiderman!"
Bros over hos.
You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.
Trump should be grateful for DEI.
How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?
Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.
Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.
Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.
I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.
He’s used to penetrating aggressively.
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."