Short jokes
Hi dude!
My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.
— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?
— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
What do you call a flying pig?
Fiction.
Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?
Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.
Who is the coolest vegetable?
Rad-ish, of course!
My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A rooster clucks defiance!
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
Hey, wanna read here? Have a comet book.
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
din mamma
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?
The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.
What did you call a school that got blown up?
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?