Short jokes

Short jokes

Handcuff

I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.

Gas

Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.

Orphan

I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.

Guy

Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”

Tower

What is the difference between the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Twin Towers? The Tower of Pisa is more flexible.

Girl

Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?

A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.

Dad

Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.

Pet

Why do white people own so many pets?

'Cause they can't own people anymore.

Mama

Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.

Human

Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?

Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.

Doctor

Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?

Alps clear the mind! Haha.

Pilot

The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.