Short jokes
What two fights can Africa never win?
A food fight and a water fight.
Brings a whole new meaning to brotherly love.
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."
Did you know? The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)
Me: God, no, help!
*game notification pops up with very loud sound*
I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.
I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.
You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇
What do you call a fat downie?
A couch potato.
(DOORS)
What door is the first door that opens for you?
The elevator to go to the game.
Do they call it rapeseed oil because it is lube?
What do you never say to gay people?
IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS! 🤣🤣🤣🏳️🌈