Short jokes
Mushroom.
Oh, you're jealous now.
My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"
Jig, Jill, Bill ate a pill.
Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?
It was called "S & N."
I called my dog 5 miles.
Today, I fawn over my miles.
I smell up dog in here.
"What's up, dog?"
Nothing much, how about you?
How did the toilet react when it received a gift?
That was so pot full (thoughtful)!
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, he just waved.
Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!
What’s weaker than a daffodil? Mundy’s ankles.
Can't wait for Stephen Hawking's next update.
Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."
Puzzle
Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.
Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
"Is Mrs. Wall here?"
"No."
"Is Mr. Wall here?"
"No."
"Then what is holding up the walls?"