Short jokes

Short jokes

School

I hate school. I mean, why can't you pull out a 12 gauge and shoot everyone, including the teachers?! This generation is too soft, man.

Wife

My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.

Fire

What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?

Answer: fire.

Mum

Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!

Piece

MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.

Rose

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.

Hitler

When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.

Mom

When you see your mom.

Me: bruh

Her: Are you serious right now bro?

Me: Yeah no shit.

Her: *slaps me*

Time

Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D

Crash

Why do blind kids like plane crashes?

Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.