I love Steven Hawking’s stand-up comedy!
Short Jokes
God, you're more toxic than white phosphorus.
Am I doing my work? Because typing this took lots of work.
What do you call a gay Megalodon?
Magalogay.
Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!
Why did God create sex for marriage?
Because he wanted more people and less fun.
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢
"Among Us" is basically a game about betrayal.
My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"
So I threw my dictionary at her.
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
What wastes your money as you earn it?
Women.
Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!
Me people call me emo.
Older cousin: Why?
Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.
Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.
Why did the chicken cross the road to Popeyes Chicken?
It wanted to pop some chicken eyes...
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."
My peepee was big, now it's small.
