Short jokes
My friend said, "Where is the trash?" I said, "Look in the mirror, there is the trash."
I swallowed shampoo. It goes blblblblb. 🧼
When I wear all black, I'm not emo. I'm a rainbow, 'cause I'm wearing all the colors. #Science
I did this to my ex. I stole her wheelchair. I knew she would come crawling back.
What did the lettuce say when she is popping the champagne?
Why did Hitler go for handicap?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
You're so skinny the world turns to the left!
What do you call an emo who just crossed the road? Roadkill.
Big feet equals mini meat.
Will Smith slapped your hairline to space.
After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says "WTF!"
How did the flapjack feel when syrup was drizzled on him?
Butter.
Best chick ever.
Call me at 6969696969.
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
Why did the skeleton never get cold? Because it went right through him!
What do you call a eatable door?
- Coriander 😂
Which flies cannot be seen?
Time flies.
Friend: What fly's and cry's?
You: A cloud.
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, they haven't got family.