Short jokes
I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.
I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.
Prankster pranks.
Fake lobster in the toilet. 8:00 a.m.
Prank phone calls. 9:00 a.m.
It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.
From the makers of Mangeone...
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train!
What did the orphan say when he first played Sims? Dang, you can have a family!
Please go subscribe to Kane Brown, people; he has good songs. Please go subscribe to him, please.
People at school thought I had special powers. It was something called "Constant supervision."
Asdf movie: meow meow I’m a cow.
Me to my villagers in Minecraft: chick chick my guns cocked so frick.
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning building.
Priest: What about the children, Rabbi?
Rabbi: Fuck the children!
Priest: Do we have time?
I give you 31 because we will do the 69 later, thanks.
Where are the multi's? Where are they at? The placations?
"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"
I’m still wearing the smile you gave me last week :)
Uranus be like, "Oh look, I'm Uranus. Imagine how disgusted I feel."
Me: Am actually happy right now.
Life: Lol one sec.
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?