Short jokes
You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.
Why do cops never put orphans in jail?
Because they aren't wanted.
The ketchup told a joke. No one was laughing, but the egg was cracking up!
What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?
They both fall in September.
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Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.
Gnome.
What do you say to a black midget?
Wanna a shower? You look like you got splashed by a muddy puddle.
You must work at McDonald's because you have a McDouble chin.
Why don't molestation victims speak up about their trauma? Because it's a touchy topic.
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!
"2001 just called and they want their towers back."
The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"
Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.
My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!
What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.