Short jokes
Is your tap water running well?
Beta, go catch it!
Is your oven running?
Then you better go catch it!
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
Deeeeeertt.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
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Are you a nation leader or an email deleter?
Two Timetravers walk into a bar...
...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."
Q: Why is it fun to hit an orphan?
A: Who are they going to tell, their parents?
What is the richest kind of air?
A millionaire.
Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers?
A: No, what happened?
Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!
I sat on a chair.
I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.
A bowman walked into a throne room, and he bowed to him.
What's a hamburger's favorite color?
Burgundy.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?
A Corgi Potty.
I have 2000 pounds of one-ton soup.
What is Batman's favorite food?
Justice.
Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.