Short jokes
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
Why did the hobo cross the road?
To get the rotten donut on the other side.
I love just having fun!
When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.
My acquaintance, William.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
My mental health.
I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.
So I ended up doing the YMCA.
What do you call a Krispy Kreme Donut combined with a Big Mac from McDonalds?
A Krispy Kreme Mac.
I am a motherfucker.
Two planes crashed into two separate towers.
Now two towers crash into two separate planes.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
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Are you a nation leader or an email deleter?
Two Timetravers walk into a bar...
...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."
Q: Why is it fun to hit an orphan?
A: Who are they going to tell, their parents?
What is the richest kind of air?
A millionaire.
Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers?
A: No, what happened?
Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
Stephen Hawking, more like ice cream!