Ho Jokes


Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words.

His response was “Ho ho ho”

in Christmas

When Santa Asks You what you want for Christmas then says ho ho ho say yes Please.


ho can drink 20 litres of fuel without dying jerrycan

There was a plane crash the pilots names where Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk and Bang Ding Ow


Christmas special

Me:can you describe mrs Claus in 3 words Santa: ho ho ho


Your mama so fat when Santa saw her he said ho ho holy S***


What does santa say about my mom? HO HO HO


what shoes do pedofiles wear? White vans. How do pedofiles fit in? They force it to go in. How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedofile comes in. What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? “Ho ho ho!”

The old guy on the corner of the road
in Nut

What do you call a vegan slut…?

A garden Ho…!

in Christmas

what did santa say when he got to the club ho ho ho


Youre mama so ugly, When Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said,“HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT’S ONE UGLY BITCH!”

in Christmas

What did Santa say when he saw a pretty girl?



Ho Ho Ho, what do you want for Christmas little boy. Longer than 2 months to live.


What does santa say to 3 girls in a row? HO HO HO

Some Random Dude
in Little Johnny

It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother’s bedroom. He thinks, “Meh, Dad’s probably back from the grocery store”. But 2 seconds later, he heard a “Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH” and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19 yr old mom. He asks, “Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?”. Santa replied, “Your mother asked for her ‘milk jar’ to be filled, and that’s what I am doing.” Johnny says, “Oh.” “But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?”

(Santa winks at you)


Popcorn means Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany. HO means a woman, in particular one who has many casual fricking encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based frick chamber in a nazi camp.

in Ex-wife

My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarf’s saw them they sang… “Look at those high Ho’s! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo’sssss!!!”

in Santa

One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. ‘Why are you early, it is not even christmas?’

  • ho, ho. Don’t worry about me. Lets worry about you instead’ says Santa. What is the problem my friend?’
  • I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house.' Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i’ll give it to you-' Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!
Eat my smoke
in Divorce

2 Asians walked into a strip club and they went to a cashier, they put in their names her name was he gay and his name was shi A ho

in Man

Santa Claus walks up to 3 little girls and says Ho Ho Ho.