Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.
Short Jokes
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."
What is your favorite amendment? A rapper.
Once I got one so big, they were going to make 9/11 2.0!
Where can you find the most dads?
Milk Island.
Your hairline is like Mount Everest; it points.
You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!
Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!
Git is going to let Bill Cosby out of jail. Oh wait, he watched Little Bill.
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.
You're so poor, you like postcards for food.
You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.
What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?
"Long time no see!"
Yo hairline so ugly, when you go to school you fall on a line.
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
@M3GAN fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfucufkcucufkcuckfucufkcufcfufkcufkcuckfucufkf you
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
