Short jokes

You know what should give up and stay dead?

Fortnite.

I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.

I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."

"Did you guys make sure Stephen was plugged in?"

What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?

A T-ex.

Is your body from McDonald's, because I'm loving it?

Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.

What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.

Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?

I think it got lockjaw after that.

Your mum is so ugly that aliens don’t come here.

Ahhhhhhhhhh, ma bored.

I sat on a chair.

I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.

A bowman walked into a throne room, and he bowed to him.

What's a hamburger's favorite color?

Burgundy.

When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:

"Enjoy the little things."

Why does everyone like couch jokes?

Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!

You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.

What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?

A Corgi Potty.

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