Short jokes
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
What do robots 🤖 shave with?
Laser blades!
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice?
Because it said "concentration camp."
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
Mommy?
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
Is George gay...? Stephen Hawking approves.
How do cookies 🍪 give three cheers?
Chip, chip, hooray!
What does a cloud wear in a storm?
Thunderwear.
Your favorite music artist is Cardi B? I prefer Cardi A+ if I'm being honest.
You're so fat you probably apply sunscreen with a paint roller.
What did COVID say to the American?
Nothing, it just took its breath away...
Is it classed as down under if you eat out an Australian chick?
What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?
"To bee or not to bee."
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
Why did NASA have to go to space? Because space is lonely.
"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.
What do you call Jan[uary] 6th?
White people smearing shit on the walls of the capitol!
Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?
To get the ice cream for the grandma.