Short jokes
What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck.
What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich? Millionaire.
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
What time would it be if Godzilla came to school? Time to run!
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.
"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
"A satisfactory."
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"