Short jokes
My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.
So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
Green beans, potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me.
What disease do you get from eating fish?
Salmonella!
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
If Sakura's head looks like earth, then her hairline has to look like the Milky Way.
What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.
I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.
What is Donald Trump's hairstyle called?
A comb-over.
Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the gay man's house?
Knock knock, it's the gay man. There's a chicken at my house.
Tazzaro got me like: 😂
Orphans got me like: 😂
Not everyone is perfect. Just take Charles Manson, for example.
Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?
It was called Fall-adelphia.
Sike, I lied, your Minecraft account is mine!
What day are twins born the most?
Toos-day.
I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!