Short jokes

What do you call a flooded hospital?

Vegetable soup.

When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?

He was lucky it was a soft drink!

My acquaintance, William.

My mental health.

Hurricane Irma, it blows.

I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.

What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

An ingestigation.

Roses are red, I failed my test, All because of Hugh and his incest.

abcdef ghijklmnop qrstuv.

I would have told you about a chemistry joke, but I wouldn't get a reaction.

If you're feeling numb, use your thumb.

I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.

When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.

Oof.

What happens if you sit under a cow?

You get a pat on the head.

I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.

So I ended up doing the YMCA.

What do you call a Krispy Kreme Donut combined with a Big Mac from McDonalds?

A Krispy Kreme Mac.

I am a motherfucker.

Two planes crashed into two separate towers.

Now two towers crash into two separate planes.

Opponent fist attacks your face, no you can not activate a trap card.