Short jokes
Louie's parents tried this.
When my dog barks, he gets ruff.
My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.
I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
Knock, knock? Who's there? French. French who? French fries!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
I wanna ram your PCIe slot.
How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?
By the rings around it.
Q: What is a skeleton's favorite color?
A: Blue stop signs.
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
What is cats and dogs' favorite story and movie?
"Romeow and Drooliet!"
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
What did the man say to the girl?
You just milked a cow.
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
What do you call Link when he is hurt?
A link to the cast.
What college do cows go to?
The Mooniversity.