Short jokes
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"
Life is beautiful, but you are ugly.
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.
Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.
They took him to PC World for repairs.
2+2=7
A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"
Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.
What do you get when you throw a pebble in the ocean?
A wet pebble.
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.
Question: How did the cat cross the river?
Answer: It didn’t, it drowned.
Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.
qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm!